Mom thoughts

I’m at a strange stage of life with an open road ahead and so many possibilities …

Me and hubby.

I’m at a strange stage of life with an open road ahead and so many possibilities. How do I choose what is right? Do I have to choose just one thing ? Such a dilemma. I hate making choices for fear of leaving someone behind or loosing a loved one. Every day it seems as if another page has turned. As a female, a mother and a wife it seems my days are full of decisions. Do I get another job? Do I wait and return to my last job? How will my decisions effect my sons? Where does my journey go from here? A million questions asked every day. Is their a book to help us on our journey ? Is their a group to give us support? What if we chose the wrong path ? Can we go back? Where can I find a guided path? Is their anyone out there that can provide guidance? These are all questions most of us are asking. I’m going to search the internet in hopes of answers. Maybe I can ask others that have already been where I am know. I will share my findings along the way. If anyone has any tips please share. I don’t know where I am headed but I pray for clarification along the way. I’ll write when my heart says to. I’ll share so if anyone follows it might help others. If anyone is on this journey too please reach out to me. A journey with friends is always a journey enjoyed.

The best way to get things Done is simply Begin

From Inspirational quotes Gazette

My choices are easy for some but people like me that are indecisive are going to struggle. Maybe I should go easy way out and flip a coin. Maybe s roll of the dice. Close my eyes and pick from a list. Or better yet have hubby decide for me lol. I’m torn between what society would choose and what my heart says to do ☹️ I wonder how other people decide on big decisions ?? 🤔 In school they said make a list of pros and cons. One would stand out but what if they are equal ? Am I strong enough to choose both and let time figure it out? I asked my husband and he said he will support whatever decision I choose. He’s a very supportive man. My angel in work boots behind the wheel of a big rig. After 20 years I still get overwhelmed by the love I have for this man. He’s my rock my soulmate.

This week closes a chapter in my life ☹️ Friday 11/23 is my last day of work for Aspira. I’m being laid off. Can reapply next year if I want to. My supervisor Lia Mebane says she hopes I do. I have other job opportunity with a tax firm. I just need to finish signing up. It’s January thru April with possibility of full year if I do good. Intellectual wise it will be more fulfilling since that’s what I went to college for. Emotionally not thinking it will fulfill my need to help others like this job does. It’s my dilemma of what is more important for me ??? Ugggg ☹️☹️ I am thinking hard but have no clue what to choose. I wish I could make money with my crafts that’s what I enjoy the most but no money in that. I’d love to write a book but not having much luck with that. It’s easy for those to share advice but there are no quick fixes. No magic pills. No prescriptions. Some of us fight this battle alone and some with a loved one. I’ve searched the internet for an instruction book and have had no luck I didn’t find classes to enroll into either. Some have moms that can help but my mom is ill equipped. She has good intentions but not much information. It’s due to the way she was raised. Her father was an alcoholic and very abusive. I’m sure they never talked about feelings or what was right in life. He chased my uncle away to join the military and he became a lifer. Sometimes it’s best to run away, murder does not look good on a resume. From what i’ve learned reconnecting with my uncle that could have happened. I personally think it would have been well deserved. Beating your tiny little wife is horrid. Back in those days it was a daily thing. I’m glad times have changed at least a little bit.

Date night October20, 2018

I’ve joined a facebook group called “Spiritual G Spot”. You can join it here https://www.facebook.com/groups/219129234948553/.
The lady that runs it does motivating posts daily. I hope it encourages you to live your life fully. Like she says let your light shine and you can never be “Too much woman”. I’m hoping to go see her in person at Niagara Falls. Hubby knows where that is since he goes there every day for work.

It’s a blessed day, 8 am is so peaceful maybe I’ll get up early from now on and write. Today is my last day of work. I have a 2 hour shift then I’m done 😦 for how long I’m not sure but it gives me time to focus on myself and what’s my next step. I will end this here and go enjoy my day. My oldest is here for Thanksgiving and I want to enjoy my time with him. Later he heads back to the Big city not sure when we will see him again. He brought his girlfriend with him and she’ s super nice. We also got to meet  Aaron’s new wife she is great. We plan on going to Mississippi soon to see them again.
I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving and I’ll be back soon. Just remember to hug your trucker tight. Mine has my heart and I will be sad Sunday when he returns to normal work. Until then I will enjoy him being around. Or at least until he pisses me off lol.

Mom thoughts, What was I thinking?

Trivia and Taco Tuesday

Here are a few questions no one ever asks but were bugging me. Click on the blue words for links to more information. This is perfect for family night trivia. I’ve also added a yummy taco recipe for you to enjoy together 🤩

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                                                  Everyone remembers crayons from their childhood.
  1. When were crayons invented? 1903
  2. What year did the first KFC open? 1930
  3. When was first cell phone call ? 1973
  4. When was cyanide discovered? 1782
  5. What nut has highest calories ? Macadamia
  6. How many hairs on the average blonde head? 150,000 more than any other hair color.
  7. How many calories in a 7-11 chocolate covered donut? 250
  8. What was the length of world’s longest fingernails ever recorded ? 28 ft 4 inches
  9. What’s the highest score you can get on your SAT ? 2400
  10. What brand of beer has the lowest carbs? Budweiser select 55
  11. At what age did the oldest recorded human die? Jeanne Calment 122 years 16 months
  12. How old was the oldest dog ? Bluey from Australia 29 years 5 months
  13. When was the color Chartreuse formulated? 1987
  14. When was the first Hershey bar with almonds made ? 1908
  15. What does the word “vermicelli” means in Italian ? Thin Worms
  16. What was the fattest cat named cat ? Himmy from Australia 46.8 lbs
  17. What’s the smallest tree? Dwarf Willow 
  18. What building is the tallest in world today? Burj Khalifa in Dubai
  19. What’s mph of fastest car as of 2018? Hennessey Venom F5 301 mph
  20. Where is the world’s smallest house ? In London it’s 188 ft
  21. Where were gummy bears created ? Germany early 1920’s
  22. When was first dishwasher made? 1886 (no kids don’t count)
  23. How many names are written around the base of Eiffel Tower ? 72
  24. What state is it legal to hunt unicorns? Michigan
  25. How do I upset Siri ? Calling her Alexa or Cortana

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 How did she wash her hair??? Gross

As promised here is a taco recipe. I found it at Dinner at the Zoo’s blog post. Link is after recipe.

GROUND BEEF TACOS

 Prep Time 10 minutes
 Cook Time 10 minutes
 Total Time 20 minutes
 Servings 4
 Calories 304 kcal

Ingredients

    • 2 teaspoons vegetable oil
    • 1 pound lean ground beef I use 90% lean
    • 1/2 cup onion finely chopped
    • 1 tablespoon chili powder
    • 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
    • 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
    • 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes optional
    • 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
    • 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
    • 1 teaspoon ground cumin
    • 1 teaspoon salt
    • 1/2 teaspoon pepper
    • 1 14 ounce can petite diced tomatoes drained
    • 8 taco shells
  • assorted toppings such as lettuce, tomato, onion and shredded cheese

Instructions

  1. Heat the oil in a large pan over medium high heat.
  2. 2 .Add the ground beef and break up with a spatula.
  3. Add the onion to the pan.
  4. Cook, stirring occasionally, until beef is done and onion is soft, 5-6 minutes.
  5. Drain off any excess fat.
  6. Add the chili powder, garlic powder, onion powder, red pepper flakes, oregano, smoked paprika, cumin, salt and pepper to the pan.
  7. Stir to coat the meat in the seasonings.
  8. Add the tomatoes to the pan and simmer for 2-3 minutes.
  9. Spoon the beef into the taco shells and add toppings such as lettuce, tomatoes and cheese.

Serve immediately.

Nutrition Facts
Ground Beef Tacos
Amount Per Serving
Calories 304 Calories from Fat 117
% Daily Value*
Total Fat 13g20%
Saturated Fat 5g25%
Cholesterol 70mg23%
Sodium 549mg23%
Potassium 525mg15%
Total Carbohydrates 19g6%
Dietary Fiber 2g8%
Sugars 1g
Protein 26g52%
Vitamin A14.3%
Vitamin C1.8%
Calcium4.9%
Iron 21.4%
* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2000 calorie diet.
Here is a direct link to their page. Go check it out. Dinner at the zoo
I hope you enjoy this trivia and these tacos. I personally have never tried this recipe. I do a basic no measure one. I brown 1 1/2 pounds ground beef and ground turkey mix. The turkey helps lower the calories. I rinse off grease then add water as called for on the packet. Sometimes we use Old El Paso other days we use a generic brand. I cut up normal lettuce, tomato, shredded cheese. If we are doing soft tacos I sometime heat up a can of black beans. Rinse and strain before use. The slime at he bottom of the can can make you lose your appetite. We serve sour cream on the side if anyone wants it. Sometimes we substitute ground meat with boneless skinless chicken breast. Cut into small pieces of course. Buffet style set up is best. Lots less mess to clean up. Paper plates or styrofoam plates are good to use. We have a back deck that is perfect for this meal. My boys and hubby really enjoy these relaxed type of meals. Know I have trivia questions to ask hem. Who knows maybe it will start a new family tradition. Possibly can do on a Saturday night since everyone has those off from work. Can put a blanket own on he floor in our living room for cold New York nights. It would kinda be like a picnic. It might be fun for everyone.
taco

We could even do it in our pj’s. I buy us a pair every year for Christmas Eve. I usually get matching ones from Kohl’s but this year I’m going to try target. That is my new favorite store. I signed up on a whim my last visit. They gave me a credit card and I earned $10 in gift cards with my last purchase. They have great sales and have a good coupon policy. They allow you to match paper coupons with digital ones using their cartwheel app. You can find it described more by following this link. If I can ever figure out how to fix my Apple ID I would download it again. Something to add to my ever growing To Do list. I have a few more wreaths to make for friend and family gifts first. I hope they like them. I enjoyed making them. The tri colored one I’m thinking of adding a small chalkboard to it. Can write Merry Christmas on it or whatever suits your fancy. Maybe you would prefer it in Polish like our friends the Lis family. Either way you get to choose.

Wesołych Świąt
If you have a favorite recipe feel free to share it with me. Maybe next time I’ll post your recipe. As always hug your trucker tight. I’m sure he will enjoy these tacos after a long run and might even know the trivia answers too.
Kathy O.
What was I thinking?

2018 another great year ? Maybe …

Just sitting and thinking on this frigid NY day. It’s getting close to the end of the year. Thinking how fast it went by. I’ve learned writing can help clear your mind and cleanse your soul. Goodbye to yesterday’s drama. Hello to a beautiful new day. More to explore more to learn.

Beautiful picture my friend posted on Facebook. So peaceful looking.

I’m learning not to let my older sister dim my shine. I have risen from her shadow and I’m doing great without her in my life. Life is better with less “cloudy” type people in it. There comes a time in life when you need to turn your back and walk away. Sadly you will loose contact with others involved but it’s for your growth and happiness. You don’t need that anchor around your waist. Wash your hands of it and walk away. It’s exhilarating not having that weight on your shoulders. It’s not being selfish it’s for self preservation. You will grow and realize they were not a necessity in your life. You will shine brighter without them around. You can be self sufficient and strong. On to better people that will shine with you and raise you up. Get out your sunglasses because it’s your time to shine. Someone holding you back just shake them off and continue on. Life is too short for people to hold you back just because they can’t see your shine. Distance might let them realize you don’t need them and are better without them. Keep close those that see where you are going and cheer you on.

I’m one of the lucky ones. My hubby stands with me and compliments me. He’s my rock. When he was in training for his CDL license I was his cheerleader. Encouraging and praising him along the way. Celebrating his achievements and letting him rest on my shoulder when he was tired. He made it through training and our family is better because of it. I’m proud of him and all the hard work he does for our family. He’s a strong family man who is loved by his 3 sons. I would be lost without him.

Recently I made him his favorite meal. Corned beef and cabbage yummy. Here is the recipe I used :

Ingredients

  • 1 corned beef brisket (3-4lbs)

  • 1 onion

  • 3 cloves garlic

  • 2 bay leaves

  • 2.5 – 3 cups water

  • 2 lbs potatoes , peeled & quartered

  • 2 large carrots , chopped

  • 1 small head of cabbage , cut into wedges

  • Here are the instructions :

    1. Chop onion into large chunks and place in the bottom of a 6 qt slow cooker. Top with corned beef and seasoning packet.

    2. Pour water into slow cooker until it just about covers the corned beef. Add garlic and bay leaves.

    3. Cook on low 8-10 hours.

    4. After the initial 3 hours, add potatoes and carrots to the slow cooker.

    5. Two hours before serving, add cabbage wedges to the slow cooker.

    6. Remove corned beef from slow cooker and let rest 15 minutes before slicing. Serve with potatoes, carrots and cabbage.

    I put everything in crockpot except cabbage and I didn’t use bay leaf. It was delicious. You can find more here : https://www.spendwithpennies.com/corned-beef-and-cabbage-slow-cooker-recipe/ Try it and let me know if you liked it. I’ll add another recipe to my next post.

    Hope your Thanksgiving was great as ours was. Hug your hubby and family tight and have a good night. Till next time.

    Mom thoughts, What was I thinking?

    I am ok. My life matters.

    What other people think does not determine your future destination.

    Internal struggle I have battled with my whole life. I’ve always been compared to my older sister. I realize now that I’m older I acted out as a child because I felt ignored. I was the flower in the top left corner of a huge wall of flowers. Hidden away treated like I was less. Not sure when these feeling first came about I must have been really young. When my parents split each of them took one of us my sister being the favorite, went with Mom. I was left with Dad and his soon-to-be wife. Trying to fit into their lives I felt like I didn’t belong, so I retreated into books. I tried at school, with little luck, to make friends. Another day another blog post, I’m not ready to open those old wounds.

    Morris, NYMorris, New York

    Biggest thing that I hated in foster care, was being moved to different foster homes. I started in Oneonta then story gets good. By the time I was released I had lived in Milford, South Valley and Morris. I’m still friends with first foster family from Oneonta. Their daughter is a good friend. People in Miilford didn’t care for very much. Next was South Valley to live with Becker family. Nancy the foster mom was a sweet heart. Then off to Morris to live with the Webster family. I loved it there. I was able to finally do cheerleading. It was awesome. I enjoyed it very much. I learned a lot about myself at that school. I had great friends some I still speak to this day. I tried to keep my nose clean and stay away from trouble. Although, I remember one instance of me being rebellious.  I left school during teacher strike and my friends covered me. I tried to walk to my sister’s foster home in Edmeston. Now that I look back it was stupid. Morris is a long way from Edmeston. Luckily a nice couple picked me up. They drove me to my sister’s school and dropped me off. I needed a release. I was angry. Got talked to by foster parents about how teachers were wrong to protest. That’s grownup business I really didn’t give a sh**. Now as a grown up I understand the importance.

    Otsego county had a program called “Independent living skills”. We got to do so much stuff and go to many places. We went to NYC to NYU. Also went to a few other colleges. My foster mother Carol was head of this group. I felt like I fit in finally. We went to Long Beach Island. It was my first experience enjoying the ocean. Big difference from NY hill I had grown up on. We learned about cooking, budgeting and cleaning. Everything we needed to know to leave foster care and go out on our own. One important thing it didn’t teach us was that on holiday vacations from college the dorms would close. If you didn’t stay connected to your foster family you had no place to go. My first grown-up realization that “adulting” sucks. Here I am over 20 years later and they still haven’t fixed that problem. It’s sad.

    Until next time Hug your trucker tight and try to get more enjoyment in your life.

    Kathy O.

    Mom thoughts, What was I thinking?

    How lonely that would be.

    Without you …

    Brief early morning thoughts I wanted to share. I’m sure many other people know exactly what I’m talking about. To those people it’s ok to stuff it in further or let it out. Happiness is like a fluttering butterfly. Grab it while you can before it passes you by. We don’t know when we will get to see it again. Hold it tight and memorize it in hopes of mimicking it. We can control some of our happiness so choose today to keep it.

    In the middle of all my happiness there is a bit of sadness. Reach in push it down. Not today sadness it’s my happy day. I will deal with you later. For today I choose to be happy. I want to enjoy life. Sadness is a thing of the past I don’t want to deal with it. I’m enjoying my time snuggled all up in bed with my hubby. He’s so warm it invites sleep swiftly. As I drift off into happy sleep my last thought is how much I love my husband. How he makes my life complete and I need to remind him. Without him it would just be me and how lonely that would be.

    Till later have a blessed day and hug your trucker tight ❤️❤️❤️

    What was I thinking?

    Today’s random thoughts.

    I remember the boys when they were younger. Boxes pots and pans an orchestra in the kitchen. So easy to entertain like my kitty nowadays. Simpler back then.

    Racing matchbox cars playing in the mud. Cheaper too. No xbox or ps 1 with monthly online fees. No cellphones. Cup phones worked just as good. I even remember walkie talkies in your choice of characters Power Rangers to Voltron. As I had boys I think we had a set like these. Now being sold on eBay at a discount price. Maybe I should order for Christmas since I still have 2 sons home. Now they have an app for phones that does the same. My youngest won’t use cell phones. Something about them causing brain damage. Here’s a link you can research for yourself . https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/radiation/cell-phones-fact-sheet. There is so much information online I could spend next 20 years deciphering it. I’m just going to say it comes down to personal preference. Too much we just don’t know and too much wrong information. You decide.

    That’s my thoughts for today. Remember to hug your trucker and kids really tight. They are your first line of defense from a creepy nursing home. As for my husband I go where he goes. Makes life a lot simpler for me. No major solo decisions for me. We are a team. We raised our 3 boys together. So we get to sit back and enjoy them grow into men. Such a blessing they are. Educated and trouble free. No jail time for any of them. I hope they follow their dreams and not forget fun they had in the mud !!!

    What was I thinking?

    My inner journey has begun. ” The cows are gone, but the barn still stands.”

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    Not sure where I got this picture but it spoke to me.

     

    The cows are gone. But the barn still stands where ma and pa left it 10 years ago. Kids all raised and moved on but the barn she still stands just like I remember from growin up years past. The blizzard of 59 with drifts up to 7 feet high. I spoke to a friend that went through it. She remembers clear as day helping her grandfather. His old car was buried and she helpt dig it out. Only way out of your house was through upstairs window. Pity the people that lived in single story houses. They were completely shut off from everything till the first thaw. Must have felt like they were in the twilight zone. Finally a day off of school. Ma found extra chores for us. Lest we get bored and cause a ruckus. Dad don’t like lots of noise. He’d get the belt out since we had no way to go outback and fetch a switch.

    Il Fuorn, Lawine vor dem Hotel (22.1.1951)

    Here is similar picture from 1951. Found here : Datei:Lawinenwinter 1951 Il Fuorn.jpg – Wikipedia de.wikipedia.org

    I remember those days just like it was yesterday. Ma told us stories about when she was younger. She had to walk 2 miles to get to school. There was no hot meals for lunch. You ate what was in your pail and didn’t complain. Dad wanted to raise up Godly men and ma was dead set on growing up the girls all nice and proper. Not like the kids nowadays. Education was important but barn chores came first. First day of fall harvest all boys missed school. The harvest was dad’s “bread and butter” since they closed the rail yard. No jobs anywhere it was rough. Ma tried to get work at the big houses but they had none. She thought maybe mending or cleaning but nothing to be found. Dad would take the boys over yonder hill to hunt. A scrawny bunny or a greasy weasel was a treat for Sunday meal. We’d sit around the table taking turn reading scriptures from the big family bible. It’s been in our family since grandpa came over from Ireland around 200 or so years ago. Such a proud man he was. Pa had his pocket watch nicely shined sitting on the stand by his bed when we were younger. After he passed it was given to the oldest boy along with his tool box. Those where simpler days when no one had to fear a drive by shooting our someone stealing your kin. Crap we deal with today not even imagined way back then.

    I desire for the simpler times. My hubby says it sounds like a memory remembered. From past years maybe the 20’s. It all started when I saw a friends pictures she posted on Facebook. I had to write or my mind was going to implode. I was born in mid 70’s and we didn’t live on a farm. Totally different then my childhood. Here’s an excerpt about what my childhood was like. Grab a cup of coffee and comfy blanket. I’ve heard worse stories but what can I say we don’t choose our childhoods or our parents …

    Here’s a brief peek into my past.

    My internal struggle I have battled with my whole life. I’ve always been compared to my older sister. I realized know that I’m older I acted out as a child because I felt ignored. I was the flower in the top left corner of a huge wall of flowers. Hidden away treated like I was less. Not sure when these feeling first came about I must have been really young. My sister was every bodies favorite. Mom chose her to live with her. I was left behind to live with dad, his new wife and their 5 kids. Just a flower on the wall. Minimal, insignificant. I hid myself in books trying to stay in the background. I tried at school with little luck to get friends. When I was in foster care I had many more friends. I kept my nose clean and stayed away from trouble. I remember being rebellious when I lived in Morris, NY. I left school during teacher strike and my friends covered me. Tried to walk to my sister’s foster home in Edmeston. Know that I look back it was stupid. Morris is a long way from Edmeston. Luckily a nice couple picked me up and drove me to her school. I needed a release. I was angry. Got talked to by foster parents about how teachers where wrong to protest. That’s grownup business why bother me with it? I really didn’t care .

     


    Morris, NY

    Here’s a picture of Morris, NY. Follow link for more information. https://www.nps.gov/nr/feature/places/pdfs/13000031.pdf

    Biggest thing that I hated was being moved to different foster homes. I started in Oneonta then story gets real good. By the time I was released I had lived in Milford, South Valley and Morris. I’m still friends with first foster family from Oneonta. Their daughter is a good friend. People in Milford didn’t care for very much. Next was South Valley to live with Becker family. Then off to Morris to live with the Webster family.

    I can’t finish my story since I’m not good with dealing with past issues. The first story is my dream past. Only in my imagination. Not sure where I’ll be in 5 years or even 5 months. I’m growing and learning about me so it’s all up hill from here. My hubby will be by my side helping me grow along for the ride he never expected.

    For know hug your hubby tight if you get the feeling you need to write something down DO IT. We grow by learning and letting things go is hardest step to take. To a better future for me and my family. Great things are yet to come and I’m trying to enjoy my journey. Join me and we can learn together one step at a time. I got my comfy slippers on and off we go……

    This is my picture with my slippers. So comfy.

    Mom thoughts

    Sensory Processing Disorder – what worked for us.

    img_2272

    Here is our 3 boys playing monopoly. Jr is in red shirt. (2010 Sidney house)

    My youngest son has sensory processing disorder and we have tried multiple therapy ideas with him in the past 16 years. The best therapy we found was a swing shaped like a laundry bag with 2 open sides. We hooked it up in our basement at the Sidney house. It was very helpful when he was over stimulated. He’d swing until he was calm. We also used a bumpy seat cushion, a ball seat with legs and sand paper. At school he had gum to chew to keep him from being fidgety. I also got erasers you can disassemble and put back together. They didn’t last long he got bored and was throwing them.

    fa333da7-2d82-446b-8f9d-88546e2ef070

    Looking through pictures I think he’s always wearing blue.

    We have learned to pick your battles. The clinking of metal silverware really bothers him. So we go to restaurants that use plastic silverware one where kitchen is further away from seating area. For special occasions we can’t avoid those restaurants. We would tell him a few days in advance and talk again day of meal. With positive reinforcement we have avoided major meltdowns. Advance preparation is the key. No surprises for him. I can only remember one instance that I was not able to avoid a meltdown. I took him to church and they had really loud music. I tried distracting him with paper and crayons. It did not work. He curled up in a ball and hid under the pew. We excuse ourselves and left earlier. Another time before he was 5 the fire alarm went off at the dentist office. Loud screeching noises and flashing lights. My poor child. Fast as a mouse he ran to a corner away from people. He sat down pulled up his knees and covered his ears. It was upsetting. He pretty much was in the fetal position. To this day he hates the dentist. We even changed offices 😦

    Products we have found to help during his growing up have been limited. Here is a link to online store where we found awesome products for sensory issues. https://www.southpaw.com We got a swing thru them and it was like night and day. It really helped Brian Jr a lot. Other items we bought from them was Feetballs pictured here. He used it at home when he was using the computer. He could wiggle all he wanted and it never tipped like a regular chair would. We also used a Fitball seating disc. I sent to school so he could use there. It helped him keep attention longer. Tri-grip pencils really helped also. Order a catalog they have tons of items for sensory issues. 

    feet balls

    I’ve been doing some research online to see what has helped other parents. People are very supportive nowadays. When jr was first diagnosed we got a lot of crap. People didn’t understand that he was not choosing to act this way. I kept getting told ways to discipline him the old fashioned way. I chose not to do those ways. Why discipline a child for something he couldn’t control ? That’s like punishing him for having brown hair. Not going to happen by me.

    Here are some remarks from my Facebook friend Denise on what has helped for her son. He was diagnosed with Aspergers. She says “They had my son listen to 20 minutes of classical music at school before he was sent to class. It seemed to calm him. He also had three safe places at school. If he ever felt overwhelmed, he was allowed to get up and just walk out and go straight to one of his safe places without asking. This kept him calm. He got to pick his 3 places. One of them was the vice principal’s office. That’s the one he used the most. So they had a little chair over in the corner. And he could just walk in and sit there without anyone saying anything to him. So safe places work. Another good therapy is actual therapy. My son was on Medicaid. So it may depend on the insurance. But Medicaid actually sends therapist around to schools. My son’s therapist would pull him from one of his less important classes (like art or music or P.E.) once a week to talk to him. It was free of charge to me. Sometimes these therapists can offer suggestions on exercises they can do to concentrate more or to stabilize their moods. Another thing that helps is rewards for good behavior. For instance at my son’s school, they purchased a PlayStation for him. And if he was able to go so many hours without having an episode, he was allowed so many minutes on the PlayStation. They had it set up in one of the rooms not used for teaching. Also my school provided my son an adult shadow to sit with him in class. She couldn’t help him with his work. But she was there to kind of guide him. For instance if he would space out, she’d tell him to take out his book and pencil. Stuff like that. They also allowed him to go only half a day once he got into high school. So he would have the special needs bus bring him home at lunch. Because high school can be overwhelming for a regular teen, can you imagine how overwhelming it is for a child with aspergers? Well he’s an adult now. Out in the world. If it wasn’t for his amazing teachers/school staff coming up with all of these great ideas during his IEP meetings, it would’ve been hard. He was sent four hours away when he was 7 to the medical university in Charleston. Because for several years before that, the doctors couldn’t get his diagnosis right. Once he was hospitalized for a week, his aspergers was brought to light and life got easier. There was no more uncertainty. When he turned 18, I finally put in for him to get SSI pay. He was approved in two months. Because of the referral letters submitted from the doctors, therapist and a lady at our local department of disability and special needs center. Everyone has always been so supportive.”

    This past June Brian graduated from high school with a regents degree. I remember a man saying “Every kid that he’s seen go into the Boces program ended up in jail by their 18th birthday.” He was CSE chairperson in Sidney and this was over 10 years ago.  Needless to say he was fired. It was a conference call and Jr’s therapist heard it. Guy was a horrible person. He never should have been in a position of authority for special needs kids. So for all the parents out their with a special needs kid “NEVER give up. You can prove negative remarks wrong and do miracles for your kids.” We never gave up fighting and never will. God gave us Brian Jr as a gift. It has been amazing to see how far he has come. he even got his driving permit this week. He was laughing because other teens at DMV took almost 1/2 to do test. It’s 20 questions – 30 minutes really? Makes you wonder type of people we have out there driving on our roads. Jr will climb mountains and fight dragons for the rest of his life. Mom and dad will be right besides him fighting with him. Take 30 minutes out of your week and have a 1 on 1 conversation with a special needs child. You will be surprised how awesome they really are if you take the time with them. If you have any questions feel free to leave a comment. We are a community raising these angels and need to support each other. Join me in this fight it’s so worth it.

    Till next time hug your hubby really tight. Mine is my first line of defense in this crazy world. Stick tight to those that support you and those that don’t they can “Kiss my britches” hugs to all. Have a great week.

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    His diploma arrived from school and dad was proud to present it to him.

    Exploring with hubby, Mom thoughts, What was I thinking?

    Life was simpler then.

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    I’m way out in God’s country taking a peek into how the other side lives. Peace, quiet, vehicles from the years past and cute little baby goats. If you look hard enough at any situation you can find the silver lining.

    Presently it’s raining outside. Crappy for some but peaceful comforting music to others. We are way out in the back woods of NY. Last sign we passed, many miles back, said South New Berlin. There was a school, a gas station, a few churches and a bar also. Typical small town country life. Out here you’ll never now what you will find. It’s the country way of life. It’s the way I was raised. Little tiny town called Schenevus NY. Somewhere between Albany and Binghamton. Just follow route 7 and you’ll find it. Many small towns getting smaller while bigger places like Oneonta and Cooperstown are growing.

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    The little mom and pop stores are pretty much all gone. A fine memory of times passed. Penny candy and candy cigarettes. How I miss those easy days. Nobody was trying to steal other people’s kids or your retirement investment, out of your back yard. We lived way out on a hill. For awhile I was oldest kid on the school bus, in elementary school. No school shootings or your neighbors kid strung out on heroin. Tad poles in ditch by the road to watch grow. Poor frogs they have no clue what awaits them. Maybe it would be kinder to just squish them now. Don’t make them suffer watching their siblings be run over by grandmas caddy on her way to church. I miss those days. Hell I miss my dad. He passed years ago but I think of him everyday. He’d be so proud of my son Logan. Bringing home another project car and “yes” it’s a Ford. He loved his Fords. Waiting for the idiot my son bought the car from. He knew we were coming a week ago. But still his ass was not here. He said 10 minutes which in country time is 2 hours. No respect for others this younger crowd. I would have “gotten swatted” our parents would say. As for me and my boys it was “Dad ain’t gonna be happy. We’ll have hell to pay”. Or mom’s famous words “The shit is getting deep pick up your feet”. Or my saying “I don’t have a shovel big enough to deal with your shit. Also heard “Go running home to mama you sissy” lol. Simpler days ☹️

     

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    Do the kids nowadays even know how to entertain themselves? How about going in the back yard and climbing trees with friends? I remember a picture of my friend Harmony way up in a tree. Happy as a pig in shit I reckon. Simpler days. Hide and go seek in the back yard with flash lights, for hours. No body going home till mom starts to holler. New it was time to go home when street lights came on or out in country the lightening bugs would come out. Just 5 more minutes. Same people nowadays live far away. Different states even. Some of to explore this big world in places like Japan and Thailand. I’ll never go to any of those places. But hubby and I joke about going to Australia, Germany and Ireland. Getting back to our roots. Seeing how our ancestors lived. Battery dying and son took charger. Why would you need phone charger when your outside with no electricity? Like the old commercial “Only time will tell”. Tootsie pop commercial if I’m thinking right. I loved tootsie pops. Getting to the center and biting into that tiny piece of tootsie roll was pure heaven. My favorite was the raspberry ones. Do you remember the wrappers that had Indians on them? Not allowed nowadays might hurt someone’s feelings. To hell with that. “Suck it up buttercup as my hubby would say”. Simpler times.

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    Been 20 years this past September for us. I’m ready for many more years. Some would have called it quits years ago. But I’m old school. I strongly believe my wedding vows. Till death do us part. May we never stray far apart. My lover. My best friend. My soulmate. I want to see eternity come with you. No one else I’d rather be with. Wish others had relationship like ours. Up and downs. Knock down, drag out fights. Small times apart. But if I need you your right there next to me. Like when I had surgery and was hurting really bad. You crawled up into that hospital bed. You held me until I fell back to sleep. That’s true love. Sadly many people will never experience that. Like my hs friend Rachel. Dying in a car accident because someone wanted to see “Just how fast this car could go”. Poor Kahlee having to grow up with out her mom. Thinking about it breaks my heart. So glad I found her on Facebook. It’s a modern day friend and family finder. Back when I was growing up everyone knew where everyone was. Life was simpler then.

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    I remember when our kids were younger. Dominic got head butted by Jiminy the goat. Over at Gasper and Elaine’s house. Friends of grandpa Fred’s. Out in the country in Worcester. Another one of those quaint little towns of yester years. Elaine is now past like my dad. Not a clue about Gasper. His parents brought him all the way to the “America’s” from Italy. For a better life. It was I’m sure. Elaine was a great woman. She canned her own sauce and had a huge garden. I’ve tried but can’t get pass 5 or more small plants. I grew a 4 foot patch in our backyard in Sidney. The chives were awesome. We loved cutting fresh chives for our potato salad. Kids enjoyed growing a sun flower plant. It got so big it was taller then our front porch roof. I remember decorating for Halloween. Our friend Kathy Walker brought up some blow ups for the front lawn. We got a blow up Frankenstein. Guess he had “too many to drink. We ended up putting a brick in his Butt. Brick was from destroying old porch steps. So unsafe. Did a lot in Sidney house. Many good memories and a few bad. That was back then this is how. So many changes. We got a new house and had unsuccessful first year doing a garden. Maybe next year. Logan wants one to so as long as he helps next year could be good. I hope. Will have to get all our friends together to help us. The whole huge group of 4 or 5.

    
    		
    What was I thinking?

    25 books that every female needs to read

    1. Warrior Goddess Training: Become the Woman You Are Meant to Be

      Sep 1, 2014

      by HeatherAsh Amara and don Miguel Ruiz
    2. Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia

      Jan 30, 2007

    3. Living With an Open Heart: A book of poetry and inner reflections.

      Mar 28, 2018

    4. Feelings Buried Alive Never Die

      Aug 1, 1991

      by Karol K. Truman
    5. Care Of The Soul – A Guide For Cultivating Depth And Sacredness In Everyday Life

      1995

      by Thomas Moore
    6. Soul to Soul: Communications from the Heart

      Oct 23, 2007

    7. Loveability

      Jun 2, 2014

      by Robert Holden Ph.D.
    8. Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be

      Feb 6, 2018

    9. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

      Sep 13, 2016

    10. A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

      Mar 15, 1996

    11. Mastering Your Mean Girl: The No-BS Guide to Silencing Your Inner Critic and Becoming Wildly Wealthy, Fabulously Healthy, and Bursting with Love

      Mar 22, 2016

    12. Whatever Arises, Love That: A Love Revolution That Begins with You

      Jan 5, 2016

    13. How To Believe In Yourself: A 7-Step Guide For Overcoming Fear And Self-Doubt

      Feb 26, 2015

    14. You Are a Badass®: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

      Apr 23, 2013

    15. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

      Jun 7, 2016

    16. A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around

      Sep 19, 2017

    17. Excuses Begone!: How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits

      Jun 1, 2009

      by Wayne W. Dyer and Hay House
    18. Happiness Project: Happiness is a Choice

      Jul 29, 2013

    19. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)

      Nov 7, 1997

    20. You Can Heal Your Life

      Jan 1, 1984

      by Louise Hay0
    21. I Am That Girl: How to Speak Your Truth, Discover Your Purpose, and #bethatgirl

      Mar 18, 2014

      by Alexis Jones and Sophia Bush
    22. Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence

      Jan 23, 2018

    23. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

      Aug 27, 2010

    24. Start Right Where You Are: How Little Changes Can Make a Big Difference for Overwhelmed Procrastinators, Frustrated Overachievers, and Recovering  Perfectionists

      Nov 15, 2016

    25. The Bridge accross forever

      Mar 11, 2015

    This list I compiled from reading comments on one of my many Facebook groups. Won’t mention name since it is private. These ladies in this group are rock stars. I check it everyday and post when I have a problem or can help someone else. It works just like a big group of best girlfriends. I wish I had friends like that in my regular world. Since my hubby is gone a lot I don’t get out much so only new people I meet are via Facebook. Some of the woman have become family and better than true family. As a female we need to build each other up and celebrate our achievements.

    I got all of this information from Amazon.com. I’m going to print and use for my Christmas wish list this year. If you read one of these books leave me a comment. I plan on getting this book asap :YOU are a BADASS.

    Hug your hubby extra tight, order this book and snuggle up with a good book tonight. It has been raining like crazy all week here. I’m grabbing a cup of wine, a book and a comfy blanket and am going to wait for hubby in our bedroom.

    Kathy O.

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