What was I thinking?

Reality hits. Depression sucks ☹️☹️☹️ Published early in hopes of helping someone out there dealing with the same 😕

Getting my thoughts together, getting real. Discussing depression out loud. Going over the bad times and the good times. But mostly the trouble I’ve experienced. It’s hard for me to talk about depression to strangers but it’s something I feel I need to do. The taboo of discussing meds and other ways to help yourself should be gone. Right? It is the 21st century, I think. We discuss so many things like trans gender, open marriages, sister wives on tv but skim over mental illness issues. They are real and it’s rising. According to this article https://www.thriveglobal.com/stories/11909-the-number-of-americans-on-antidepressants-has-skyrocketed done by the cdc “According to just published data, 12.7 percent of Americans age 12 or older reported taking an antidepressant within the last month.” That’s astounding. Ask your friends chances are many do. I do. As a matter of fact I take 2 pills everyday. It’s not a quick fix but it does take the edge off. We joke at my house that

they are my “anti-divorce” medication. Without them I can be a really mean bit##. Don’t get me wrong I love my husband and kids but life is sometimes hard to handle. Adulting seriously sucks some days. I’d rather stay in bed all day and snuggle with my hubby but reality is bills need to be paid, mouths need to be fed. I wonder if it’s my MS that causes my depression? Then you see statistics and realize that’s only a small part of life.

So let’s get real. I take Prozac. Yes people joke about it all the time. I had a friend comment one day in Walmart how this was “a Prozac” world. Little did she now I was on that train ride. I didn’t get offended just laughed and said “Yep that’s me in a nutshell”. No serious harm done no foul. I was medicated so the thoughts of smashing her face into the register belt, pounding her skinny ass into the floor while all our friends watched was just a brief thought. Or so I thought. Here we are years later discussing it. Funny how this memory is fresh in my mind oh well. I’ve got together a support team I can talk to about difficult times and I’m very thankful for them. Not too mention names but Lisa, Alison and Ruthie come to mind. This blog has helped. It’s good to get it all out and see in black and white. Kinda hurts but needs to be done. We need to stop suffering in silence.

My tips are:

1. speak to your partner they probably have noticed changes and just said nothing.

2. Speak to your doctor. Maybe you can change some of the things you eat. I noticed if I skip breakfast by 2 I’m struggling. It’s little things like that. Causing a day and night difference.

3. Write it down. Maybe a diary, journal or a blog like this. Whatever works as long as it’s legal do it for yourself. Can’t care for your family if your hiding under a shell

4. Join a group on facebook. Couldn’t hurt.

5. Exercise. They say it empowers the mind. Or so they think. If not punching a punching bag really hard could be therapeutic. Just picture the face of last person to “spit in your Cheerios” face on it and pound away.

6. Pull out your bible and read. There are many verses that deal with depression. I will ask a friend and post shortly.

Starting to think this might be a two day job. I have to work at 1 and hubby has dentist appointment at noon. I’m going to end here.

TOO be continued shortly.

Kathy O

Took my meds this morning and drank coffee. Think I’ll make it through today. I hope.

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