What was I thinking?

2018 another great year ? Maybe …

Just sitting and thinking on this frigid NY day. It’s getting close to the end of the year. Thinking how fast it went by. I’ve learned writing can help clear your mind and cleanse your soul. Goodbye to yesterday’s drama. Hello to a beautiful new day. More to explore more to learn.

Beautiful picture my friend posted on Facebook. So peaceful looking.

I’m learning not to let my older sister dim my shine. I have risen from her shadow and I’m doing great without her in my life. Life is better with less “cloudy” type people in it. There comes a time in life when you need to turn your back and walk away. Sadly you will loose contact with others involved but it’s for your growth and happiness. You don’t need that anchor around your waist. Wash your hands of it and walk away. It’s exhilarating not having that weight on your shoulders. It’s not being selfish it’s for self preservation. You will grow and realize they were not a necessity in your life. You will shine brighter without them around. You can be self sufficient and strong. On to better people that will shine with you and raise you up. Get out your sunglasses because it’s your time to shine. Someone holding you back just shake them off and continue on. Life is too short for people to hold you back just because they can’t see your shine. Distance might let them realize you don’t need them and are better without them. Keep close those that see where you are going and cheer you on.

I’m one of the lucky ones. My hubby stands with me and compliments me. He’s my rock. When he was in training for his CDL license I was his cheerleader. Encouraging and praising him along the way. Celebrating his achievements and letting him rest on my shoulder when he was tired. He made it through training and our family is better because of it. I’m proud of him and all the hard work he does for our family. He’s a strong family man who is loved by his 3 sons. I would be lost without him.

Recently I made him his favorite meal. Corned beef and cabbage yummy. Here is the recipe I used :

Ingredients

  • 1 corned beef brisket (3-4lbs)

  • 1 onion

  • 3 cloves garlic

  • 2 bay leaves

  • 2.5 – 3 cups water

  • 2 lbs potatoes , peeled & quartered

  • 2 large carrots , chopped

  • 1 small head of cabbage , cut into wedges

  • Here are the instructions :

    1. Chop onion into large chunks and place in the bottom of a 6 qt slow cooker. Top with corned beef and seasoning packet.

    2. Pour water into slow cooker until it just about covers the corned beef. Add garlic and bay leaves.

    3. Cook on low 8-10 hours.

    4. After the initial 3 hours, add potatoes and carrots to the slow cooker.

    5. Two hours before serving, add cabbage wedges to the slow cooker.

    6. Remove corned beef from slow cooker and let rest 15 minutes before slicing. Serve with potatoes, carrots and cabbage.

    I put everything in crockpot except cabbage and I didn’t use bay leaf. It was delicious. You can find more here : https://www.spendwithpennies.com/corned-beef-and-cabbage-slow-cooker-recipe/ Try it and let me know if you liked it. I’ll add another recipe to my next post.

    Hope your Thanksgiving was great as ours was. Hug your hubby and family tight and have a good night. Till next time.

    Mom thoughts

    I’m at a strange stage of life with an open road ahead and so many possibilities …

    Me and hubby.

    I’m at a strange stage of life with an open road ahead and so many possibilities. How do I choose what is right? Do I have to choose just one thing ? Such a dilemma. I hate making choices for fear of leaving someone behind or loosing a loved one. Every day it seems as if another page has turned. As a female, a mother and a wife it seems my days are full of decisions. Do I get another job? Do I wait and return to my last job? How will my decisions effect my sons? Where does my journey go from here? A million questions asked every day. Is their a book to help us on our journey ? Is their a group to give us support? What if we chose the wrong path ? Can we go back? Where can I find a guided path? Is their anyone out there that can provide guidance? These are all questions most of us are asking. I’m going to search the internet in hopes of answers. Maybe I can ask others that have already been where I am know. I will share my findings along the way. If anyone has any tips please share. I don’t know where I am headed but I pray for clarification along the way. I’ll write when my heart says to. I’ll share so if anyone follows it might help others. If anyone is on this journey too please reach out to me. A journey with friends is always a journey enjoyed.

    The best way to get things Done is simply Begin

    From Inspirational quotes Gazette

    My choices are easy for some but people like me that are indecisive are going to struggle. Maybe I should go easy way out and flip a coin. Maybe s roll of the dice. Close my eyes and pick from a list. Or better yet have hubby decide for me lol. I’m torn between what society would choose and what my heart says to do ☹️ I wonder how other people decide on big decisions ?? 🤔 In school they said make a list of pros and cons. One would stand out but what if they are equal ? Am I strong enough to choose both and let time figure it out? I asked my husband and he said he will support whatever decision I choose. He’s a very supportive man. My angel in work boots behind the wheel of a big rig. After 20 years I still get overwhelmed by the love I have for this man. He’s my rock my soulmate.

    This week closes a chapter in my life ☹️ Friday 11/23 is my last day of work for Aspira. I’m being laid off. Can reapply next year if I want to. My supervisor Lia Mebane says she hopes I do. I have other job opportunity with a tax firm. I just need to finish signing up. It’s January thru April with possibility of full year if I do good. Intellectual wise it will be more fulfilling since that’s what I went to college for. Emotionally not thinking it will fulfill my need to help others like this job does. It’s my dilemma of what is more important for me ??? Ugggg ☹️☹️ I am thinking hard but have no clue what to choose. I wish I could make money with my crafts that’s what I enjoy the most but no money in that. I’d love to write a book but not having much luck with that. It’s easy for those to share advice but there are no quick fixes. No magic pills. No prescriptions. Some of us fight this battle alone and some with a loved one. I’ve searched the internet for an instruction book and have had no luck I didn’t find classes to enroll into either. Some have moms that can help but my mom is ill equipped. She has good intentions but not much information. It’s due to the way she was raised. Her father was an alcoholic and very abusive. I’m sure they never talked about feelings or what was right in life. He chased my uncle away to join the military and he became a lifer. Sometimes it’s best to run away, murder does not look good on a resume. From what i’ve learned reconnecting with my uncle that could have happened. I personally think it would have been well deserved. Beating your tiny little wife is horrid. Back in those days it was a daily thing. I’m glad times have changed at least a little bit.

    Date night October20, 2018

    I’ve joined a facebook group called “Spiritual G Spot”. You can join it here https://www.facebook.com/groups/219129234948553/.
    The lady that runs it does motivating posts daily. I hope it encourages you to live your life fully. Like she says let your light shine and you can never be “Too much woman”. I’m hoping to go see her in person at Niagara Falls. Hubby knows where that is since he goes there every day for work.

    It’s a blessed day, 8 am is so peaceful maybe I’ll get up early from now on and write. Today is my last day of work. I have a 2 hour shift then I’m done 😦 for how long I’m not sure but it gives me time to focus on myself and what’s my next step. I will end this here and go enjoy my day. My oldest is here for Thanksgiving and I want to enjoy my time with him. Later he heads back to the Big city not sure when we will see him again. He brought his girlfriend with him and she’ s super nice. We also got to meet  Aaron’s new wife she is great. We plan on going to Mississippi soon to see them again.
    I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving and I’ll be back soon. Just remember to hug your trucker tight. Mine has my heart and I will be sad Sunday when he returns to normal work. Until then I will enjoy him being around. Or at least until he pisses me off lol.

    What was I thinking?

    Today’s random thoughts.

    I remember the boys when they were younger. Boxes pots and pans an orchestra in the kitchen. So easy to entertain like my kitty nowadays. Simpler back then.

    Racing matchbox cars playing in the mud. Cheaper too. No xbox or ps 1 with monthly online fees. No cellphones. Cup phones worked just as good. I even remember walkie talkies in your choice of characters Power Rangers to Voltron. As I had boys I think we had a set like these. Now being sold on eBay at a discount price. Maybe I should order for Christmas since I still have 2 sons home. Now they have an app for phones that does the same. My youngest won’t use cell phones. Something about them causing brain damage. Here’s a link you can research for yourself . https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/radiation/cell-phones-fact-sheet. There is so much information online I could spend next 20 years deciphering it. I’m just going to say it comes down to personal preference. Too much we just don’t know and too much wrong information. You decide.

    That’s my thoughts for today. Remember to hug your trucker and kids really tight. They are your first line of defense from a creepy nursing home. As for my husband I go where he goes. Makes life a lot simpler for me. No major solo decisions for me. We are a team. We raised our 3 boys together. So we get to sit back and enjoy them grow into men. Such a blessing they are. Educated and trouble free. No jail time for any of them. I hope they follow their dreams and not forget fun they had in the mud !!!

    Exploring with hubby, Mom thoughts, What was I thinking?

    Life was simpler then.

    IMG_3515

    I’m way out in God’s country taking a peek into how the other side lives. Peace, quiet, vehicles from the years past and cute little baby goats. If you look hard enough at any situation you can find the silver lining.

    Presently it’s raining outside. Crappy for some but peaceful comforting music to others. We are way out in the back woods of NY. Last sign we passed, many miles back, said South New Berlin. There was a school, a gas station, a few churches and a bar also. Typical small town country life. Out here you’ll never now what you will find. It’s the country way of life. It’s the way I was raised. Little tiny town called Schenevus NY. Somewhere between Albany and Binghamton. Just follow route 7 and you’ll find it. Many small towns getting smaller while bigger places like Oneonta and Cooperstown are growing.

    IMG_3536

    The little mom and pop stores are pretty much all gone. A fine memory of times passed. Penny candy and candy cigarettes. How I miss those easy days. Nobody was trying to steal other people’s kids or your retirement investment, out of your back yard. We lived way out on a hill. For awhile I was oldest kid on the school bus, in elementary school. No school shootings or your neighbors kid strung out on heroin. Tad poles in ditch by the road to watch grow. Poor frogs they have no clue what awaits them. Maybe it would be kinder to just squish them now. Don’t make them suffer watching their siblings be run over by grandmas caddy on her way to church. I miss those days. Hell I miss my dad. He passed years ago but I think of him everyday. He’d be so proud of my son Logan. Bringing home another project car and “yes” it’s a Ford. He loved his Fords. Waiting for the idiot my son bought the car from. He knew we were coming a week ago. But still his ass was not here. He said 10 minutes which in country time is 2 hours. No respect for others this younger crowd. I would have “gotten swatted” our parents would say. As for me and my boys it was “Dad ain’t gonna be happy. We’ll have hell to pay”. Or mom’s famous words “The shit is getting deep pick up your feet”. Or my saying “I don’t have a shovel big enough to deal with your shit. Also heard “Go running home to mama you sissy” lol. Simpler days ☹️

     

    IMG_3517

    Do the kids nowadays even know how to entertain themselves? How about going in the back yard and climbing trees with friends? I remember a picture of my friend Harmony way up in a tree. Happy as a pig in shit I reckon. Simpler days. Hide and go seek in the back yard with flash lights, for hours. No body going home till mom starts to holler. New it was time to go home when street lights came on or out in country the lightening bugs would come out. Just 5 more minutes. Same people nowadays live far away. Different states even. Some of to explore this big world in places like Japan and Thailand. I’ll never go to any of those places. But hubby and I joke about going to Australia, Germany and Ireland. Getting back to our roots. Seeing how our ancestors lived. Battery dying and son took charger. Why would you need phone charger when your outside with no electricity? Like the old commercial “Only time will tell”. Tootsie pop commercial if I’m thinking right. I loved tootsie pops. Getting to the center and biting into that tiny piece of tootsie roll was pure heaven. My favorite was the raspberry ones. Do you remember the wrappers that had Indians on them? Not allowed nowadays might hurt someone’s feelings. To hell with that. “Suck it up buttercup as my hubby would say”. Simpler times.

    IMG_3519

    Been 20 years this past September for us. I’m ready for many more years. Some would have called it quits years ago. But I’m old school. I strongly believe my wedding vows. Till death do us part. May we never stray far apart. My lover. My best friend. My soulmate. I want to see eternity come with you. No one else I’d rather be with. Wish others had relationship like ours. Up and downs. Knock down, drag out fights. Small times apart. But if I need you your right there next to me. Like when I had surgery and was hurting really bad. You crawled up into that hospital bed. You held me until I fell back to sleep. That’s true love. Sadly many people will never experience that. Like my hs friend Rachel. Dying in a car accident because someone wanted to see “Just how fast this car could go”. Poor Kahlee having to grow up with out her mom. Thinking about it breaks my heart. So glad I found her on Facebook. It’s a modern day friend and family finder. Back when I was growing up everyone knew where everyone was. Life was simpler then.

    IMG_3524

    I remember when our kids were younger. Dominic got head butted by Jiminy the goat. Over at Gasper and Elaine’s house. Friends of grandpa Fred’s. Out in the country in Worcester. Another one of those quaint little towns of yester years. Elaine is now past like my dad. Not a clue about Gasper. His parents brought him all the way to the “America’s” from Italy. For a better life. It was I’m sure. Elaine was a great woman. She canned her own sauce and had a huge garden. I’ve tried but can’t get pass 5 or more small plants. I grew a 4 foot patch in our backyard in Sidney. The chives were awesome. We loved cutting fresh chives for our potato salad. Kids enjoyed growing a sun flower plant. It got so big it was taller then our front porch roof. I remember decorating for Halloween. Our friend Kathy Walker brought up some blow ups for the front lawn. We got a blow up Frankenstein. Guess he had “too many to drink. We ended up putting a brick in his Butt. Brick was from destroying old porch steps. So unsafe. Did a lot in Sidney house. Many good memories and a few bad. That was back then this is how. So many changes. We got a new house and had unsuccessful first year doing a garden. Maybe next year. Logan wants one to so as long as he helps next year could be good. I hope. Will have to get all our friends together to help us. The whole huge group of 4 or 5.

    
    		
    What was I thinking?

    To blog or not to blog, that is the question ???

    When I first mentioned I wanted to do a blog on Facebook group, everyone was excited. Here we are and I've posted over 8 and noone has started following me but a brave few  :-( Worried my topics are boring to some. It is the life of a trucker's wife, not much glamour there. We've been married over 2 years so that might be part of it too. Doesn't really matter our kids are older now and we can pretty much go off anytime we want. I'm collecting ideas of places to go if anyone has an idea. Ok now onto the true reason for this post.

    Should you blog ??? There are many groups on Facebook that will show you how to blog. Most will give you links to sign up with. They are getting a kick back from companies like Blue Host every time someone signs up using their special link that offers a special price. If you search the internet you can get the same discounted price without lining someone else’s pocket. That’s how they make $1000’s every month. Enticing you with prices and offering to give you low prices. Ha Ha you can sign up without them. I’m signing up solo and getting same price so I’m doing it my way.

    img_3220-1

    I will win this race 🙂

    They offer multiple classes instructing you on how to set up your blog, how many times to post a week and to make sure your blog automatically shares with Pinterest, Facebook and twitter. A social media savvy friend can help you with this also and they are usually w free. I’ve done a lot of research on blogs and what catches people’s eyes the most. It’s the pictures. Make sure you have good pictures. Foggy out of focus pictures won’t do. Post bright happy pictures they draw more attention.

    img_3085

    Need to get comfy to read.

    Recently I was researching what type of blog post catch the most attention. So I tried it out to see my response. It increased my view but not as high as some would think. I’m going to research further their must be a magical way to get readers some how. I just need to work harder or do I ? Some post daily while others like me try to do 2 a week. I’ve been watching my stats on WordPress and it’s showing me great information. Shows me Tuesday is most popular day for people to view my blog. Early in the morning also.  thinking of setting up new blogs to post early in the am maybe around 6. Luckily WordPress let’s you schedule in advance. You can go to bed and it automatically does your post at your chosen time. Those that sign up for email will automatically have post in their email just waiting to be read whenever they want. Pretty convenient I think, I’ve subscribed to a few. I like to go to a quiet place, with a cup of coffee and enjoy reading. Lots of interesting blogs out there, something for everyone. Here’s an informative blog I found that has some interesting statistics, Life hacker.  I’m a numbers person so I like to see the statistics. Thousands more online but this piqued my interest. I’m willing to answer questions if anyone has any and if I don’t have answer I will research online to find it.

    Here is an article about Blog Strategies. It might help you decide if you want to jump right in or just test the waters and do it slowly. I jumped right in and am learning everyday. Just realized today that we can change the size of the pictures we use. Who knew > wow. My biggest tip to new bloggers is to play around with your platform. So many options out there your guaranteed to find one that works for you. From font color, size, type it’s endless on what you can create. I’ve been checking out other blogs to get an idea of what I like. WordPress is amazing they have 100’s of preset designs you can use. Try them out and see what fits best for your style of writing. You can always change if you find something you like better. It’s not carved in stone so explore. I remember watching Flintstones as a child and seeing how the newspaper was carved from stone. That’s some heavy news for you. Glad times have changed. Italics tell me what you think. It’s the little thing that can add up to great things. Can’t hurt to try. Final tip before I leave. It’s a big one. SPELL CHECK. Make sure you run it. Nothing worse than a crappy little mistake drawing, away from the focus of your blog. It’s quick it’s easy so make sure you do it. I’m not an expert I’m learning as I do. But hey, that’s the fun way anyways. Another great tip is pug in your laptop. Nothing worse than it dying mid sentence. Like just happened to me. LOL

     If anyone wants to share their blog links in comments I can check out your site. It's a learning process but I'm up for it. As always hug your trucker tight and have a great night.
    Kathy O.