What was I thinking?

2018 another great year ? Maybe …

Just sitting and thinking on this frigid NY day. It’s getting close to the end of the year. Thinking how fast it went by. I’ve learned writing can help clear your mind and cleanse your soul. Goodbye to yesterday’s drama. Hello to a beautiful new day. More to explore more to learn.

Beautiful picture my friend posted on Facebook. So peaceful looking.

I’m learning not to let my older sister dim my shine. I have risen from her shadow and I’m doing great without her in my life. Life is better with less “cloudy” type people in it. There comes a time in life when you need to turn your back and walk away. Sadly you will loose contact with others involved but it’s for your growth and happiness. You don’t need that anchor around your waist. Wash your hands of it and walk away. It’s exhilarating not having that weight on your shoulders. It’s not being selfish it’s for self preservation. You will grow and realize they were not a necessity in your life. You will shine brighter without them around. You can be self sufficient and strong. On to better people that will shine with you and raise you up. Get out your sunglasses because it’s your time to shine. Someone holding you back just shake them off and continue on. Life is too short for people to hold you back just because they can’t see your shine. Distance might let them realize you don’t need them and are better without them. Keep close those that see where you are going and cheer you on.

I’m one of the lucky ones. My hubby stands with me and compliments me. He’s my rock. When he was in training for his CDL license I was his cheerleader. Encouraging and praising him along the way. Celebrating his achievements and letting him rest on my shoulder when he was tired. He made it through training and our family is better because of it. I’m proud of him and all the hard work he does for our family. He’s a strong family man who is loved by his 3 sons. I would be lost without him.

Recently I made him his favorite meal. Corned beef and cabbage yummy. Here is the recipe I used :

Ingredients

  • 1 corned beef brisket (3-4lbs)

  • 1 onion

  • 3 cloves garlic

  • 2 bay leaves

  • 2.5 – 3 cups water

  • 2 lbs potatoes , peeled & quartered

  • 2 large carrots , chopped

  • 1 small head of cabbage , cut into wedges

  • Here are the instructions :

    1. Chop onion into large chunks and place in the bottom of a 6 qt slow cooker. Top with corned beef and seasoning packet.

    2. Pour water into slow cooker until it just about covers the corned beef. Add garlic and bay leaves.

    3. Cook on low 8-10 hours.

    4. After the initial 3 hours, add potatoes and carrots to the slow cooker.

    5. Two hours before serving, add cabbage wedges to the slow cooker.

    6. Remove corned beef from slow cooker and let rest 15 minutes before slicing. Serve with potatoes, carrots and cabbage.

    I put everything in crockpot except cabbage and I didn’t use bay leaf. It was delicious. You can find more here : https://www.spendwithpennies.com/corned-beef-and-cabbage-slow-cooker-recipe/ Try it and let me know if you liked it. I’ll add another recipe to my next post.

    Hope your Thanksgiving was great as ours was. Hug your hubby and family tight and have a good night. Till next time.

    Mom thoughts, What was I thinking?

    I am ok. My life matters.

    What other people think does not determine your future destination.

    Internal struggle I have battled with my whole life. I’ve always been compared to my older sister. I realize now that I’m older I acted out as a child because I felt ignored. I was the flower in the top left corner of a huge wall of flowers. Hidden away treated like I was less. Not sure when these feeling first came about I must have been really young. When my parents split each of them took one of us my sister being the favorite, went with Mom. I was left with Dad and his soon-to-be wife. Trying to fit into their lives I felt like I didn’t belong, so I retreated into books. I tried at school, with little luck, to make friends. Another day another blog post, I’m not ready to open those old wounds.

    Morris, NYMorris, New York

    Biggest thing that I hated in foster care, was being moved to different foster homes. I started in Oneonta then story gets good. By the time I was released I had lived in Milford, South Valley and Morris. I’m still friends with first foster family from Oneonta. Their daughter is a good friend. People in Miilford didn’t care for very much. Next was South Valley to live with Becker family. Nancy the foster mom was a sweet heart. Then off to Morris to live with the Webster family. I loved it there. I was able to finally do cheerleading. It was awesome. I enjoyed it very much. I learned a lot about myself at that school. I had great friends some I still speak to this day. I tried to keep my nose clean and stay away from trouble. Although, I remember one instance of me being rebellious.  I left school during teacher strike and my friends covered me. I tried to walk to my sister’s foster home in Edmeston. Now that I look back it was stupid. Morris is a long way from Edmeston. Luckily a nice couple picked me up. They drove me to my sister’s school and dropped me off. I needed a release. I was angry. Got talked to by foster parents about how teachers were wrong to protest. That’s grownup business I really didn’t give a sh**. Now as a grown up I understand the importance.

    Otsego county had a program called “Independent living skills”. We got to do so much stuff and go to many places. We went to NYC to NYU. Also went to a few other colleges. My foster mother Carol was head of this group. I felt like I fit in finally. We went to Long Beach Island. It was my first experience enjoying the ocean. Big difference from NY hill I had grown up on. We learned about cooking, budgeting and cleaning. Everything we needed to know to leave foster care and go out on our own. One important thing it didn’t teach us was that on holiday vacations from college the dorms would close. If you didn’t stay connected to your foster family you had no place to go. My first grown-up realization that “adulting” sucks. Here I am over 20 years later and they still haven’t fixed that problem. It’s sad.

    Until next time Hug your trucker tight and try to get more enjoyment in your life.

    Kathy O.

    Mom thoughts

    I am itchy and 45 other names.

     

    I am itchy, and 45 other names. Mom, wife, sister, chef, friend, fb buddy, writer, daughter, neighbor, bill keeper, shopper, laundry doer, confidant. The list goes on and on. All you women out there know it and we are proud of it. My utmost favorite is Wife. I cherish my hubby he's my rock. Don't forget to add cat bed. We know who runs this house.
    
    The incessant wandering mind of a trucker’s wife, 6 months in my life. How I used my phone to write my blog posts and this book. Word to text is awesome it’s just like talking to your best friend. Only difference is when your done you have an awesome blog post. TaDa I am a writer. Well kinda thank God for spell check. Maybe should have named my blog “A lonely trucker’s wife with ADD.
    
    I have to get all these thoughts out of my head or I can’t sleep. You understand right? You’ve been there at 5:28 am in the morning in the strangest of places writing ? It’s not just me right? Where are the strangest places you have found yourself? Have you found yourself ? If so how did you do it because I sometimes feel lost in La La land. Like I’m living in a dream world and can’t wake up. More coffee you say ? Nah I’d end up drinking a gallon a day.
    
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    Now I’ve been up early enough to hear my sons alarm go off. He has to be to work at 6 at Cleaners Supply in Conklin. I have a feeling I will still be up to scare him as he comes down for breakfast. Writing is a very quiet activity. No one knows your there. Only sound you make is key sound on your phone. Kinda cool I think and you never run out of ink either. Only other noise in the house is hubby snoring and Oreo getting in to mischief. She thinks it’s ok to be on the table. I have news for her NOT in my house LoL. Off she goes 157th time today. She’s too darn cute to get mad at. I think she knows this too.
    
    img_3480Kinda like my youngest son pushing my buttons to see how far he can go. Didn’t get him far I always had dad for back up. He was the enforcer of all the mean house rules. Yea right !!! My kids are spoiled thanks grandma and grandpa. But they turned out great and I’m proud of all of them.
    
    Here come Logan wonder if he will notice me. I’ll stop writing for a few let’s see.
    
    Cat 1 has spotted cat 3 and the hissing will commense. Crap Logan spotted me. Oh well got his picture anyways as he digs through my Tupperware for bowl for work. He is kinda loud hope he doesn’t wake dad. But then again with the custom exhaust he did on his truck he could wake the dead 🤔. Off he goes to work and doesn’t even close door all the way. Oh well he’s my baby and I love him. Even though he’s 22 !! Never too old to be mommas baby right ladies? You know it. My hubby is over 44 years old and his mom still says he’s her baby. Heck my mom still calls me her baby and I’m 34. Right I wish. They will always be our babies no matter how old they get.
    
    Oh yea better go close door and grab a cup of coffee this has become an all nighter. Be back in a few. Don’t forget to hug your hubby. I know I will he has today and tomorrow off so he’s all mine and I’m not sharing.
    
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    Look where that crazy cat is know, back on my laptop so I can't write. Haha I'm still using my phone.
    
    Is Facebook the modern day Dear Abby? I’m going to look into this. Possibly a next blog subject. Who knows ??? Till next time friends. Wherever my hubby is I’m not far behind.
    
    Kathy O
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    A pic of us from our recent 20 th anniversary trip.