What other people think does not determine your future destination.
Internal struggle I have battled with my whole life. I’ve always been compared to my older sister. I realize now that I’m older I acted out as a child because I felt ignored. I was the flower in the top left corner of a huge wall of flowers. Hidden away treated like I was less. Not sure when these feeling first came about I must have been really young. When my parents split each of them took one of us my sister being the favorite, went with Mom. I was left with Dad and his soon-to-be wife. Trying to fit into their lives I felt like I didn’t belong, so I retreated into books. I tried at school, with little luck, to make friends. Another day another blog post, I’m not ready to open those old wounds.
Morris, New York
Biggest thing that I hated in foster care, was being moved to different foster homes. I started in Oneonta then story gets good. By the time I was released I had lived in Milford, South Valley and Morris. I’m still friends with first foster family from Oneonta. Their daughter is a good friend. People in Miilford didn’t care for very much. Next was South Valley to live with Becker family. Nancy the foster mom was a sweet heart. Then off to Morris to live with the Webster family. I loved it there. I was able to finally do cheerleading. It was awesome. I enjoyed it very much. I learned a lot about myself at that school. I had great friends some I still speak to this day. I tried to keep my nose clean and stay away from trouble. Although, I remember one instance of me being rebellious. I left school during teacher strike and my friends covered me. I tried to walk to my sister’s foster home in Edmeston. Now that I look back it was stupid. Morris is a long way from Edmeston. Luckily a nice couple picked me up. They drove me to my sister’s school and dropped me off. I needed a release. I was angry. Got talked to by foster parents about how teachers were wrong to protest. That’s grownup business I really didn’t give a sh**. Now as a grown up I understand the importance.
Otsego county had a program called “Independent living skills”. We got to do so much stuff and go to many places. We went to NYC to NYU. Also went to a few other colleges. My foster mother Carol was head of this group. I felt like I fit in finally. We went to Long Beach Island. It was my first experience enjoying the ocean. Big difference from NY hill I had grown up on. We learned about cooking, budgeting and cleaning. Everything we needed to know to leave foster care and go out on our own. One important thing it didn’t teach us was that on holiday vacations from college the dorms would close. If you didn’t stay connected to your foster family you had no place to go. My first grown-up realization that “adulting” sucks. Here I am over 20 years later and they still haven’t fixed that problem. It’s sad.
Until next time Hug your trucker tight and try to get more enjoyment in your life.
I am itchy, and 45 other names. Mom, wife, sister, chef, friend, fb buddy, writer, daughter, neighbor, bill keeper, shopper, laundry doer, confidant. The list goes on and on. All you women out there know it and we are proud of it. My utmost favorite is Wife. I cherish my hubby he's my rock. Don't forget to add cat bed. We know who runs this house. The incessant wandering mind of a trucker’s wife, 6 months in my life. How I used my phone to write my blog posts and this book. Word to text is awesome it’s just like talking to your best friend. Only difference is when your done you have an awesome blog post. TaDa I am a writer. Well kinda thank God for spell check. Maybe should have named my blog “A lonely trucker’s wife with ADD. I have to get all these thoughts out of my head or I can’t sleep. You understand right? You’ve been there at 5:28 am in the morning in the strangest of places writing ? It’s not just me right? Where are the strangest places you have found yourself? Have you found yourself ? If so how did you do it because I sometimes feel lost in La La land. Like I’m living in a dream world and can’t wake up. More coffee you say ? Nah I’d end up drinking a gallon a day. Now I’ve been up early enough to hear my sons alarm go off. He has to be to work at 6 at Cleaners Supply in Conklin. I have a feeling I will still be up to scare him as he comes down for breakfast. Writing is a very quiet activity. No one knows your there. Only sound you make is key sound on your phone. Kinda cool I think and you never run out of ink either. Only other noise in the house is hubby snoring and Oreo getting in to mischief. She thinks it’s ok to be on the table. I have news for her NOT in my house LoL. Off she goes 157th time today. She’s too darn cute to get mad at. I think she knows this too. Kinda like my youngest son pushing my buttons to see how far he can go. Didn’t get him far I always had dad for back up. He was the enforcer of all the mean house rules. Yea right !!! My kids are spoiled thanks grandma and grandpa. But they turned out great and I’m proud of all of them. Here come Logan wonder if he will notice me. I’ll stop writing for a few let’s see. Cat 1 has spotted cat 3 and the hissing will commense. Crap Logan spotted me. Oh well got his picture anyways as he digs through my Tupperware for bowl for work. He is kinda loud hope he doesn’t wake dad. But then again with the custom exhaust he did on his truck he could wake the dead 🤔. Off he goes to work and doesn’t even close door all the way. Oh well he’s my baby and I love him. Even though he’s 22 !! Never too old to be mommas baby right ladies? You know it. My hubby is over 44 years old and his mom still says he’s her baby. Heck my mom still calls me her baby and I’m 34. Right I wish. They will always be our babies no matter how old they get. Oh yea better go close door and grab a cup of coffee this has become an all nighter. Be back in a few. Don’t forget to hug your hubby. I know I will he has today and tomorrow off so he’s all mine and I’m not sharing. Look where that crazy cat is know, back on my laptop so I can't write. Haha I'm still using my phone. Is Facebook the modern day Dear Abby? I’m going to look into this. Possibly a next blog subject. Who knows ??? Till next time friends. Wherever my hubby is I’m not far behind. Kathy O
A pic of us from our recent 20 th anniversary trip.